I鈥檓 seriously reconsidering any plans to visit the United States ever again.
It鈥檚 not the recent school shooting in Florida. I know that although mass shootings in the U.S. are much, much more common than in every other industrialized country, they鈥檙e still fairly rare. I鈥檇 still have a better chance of dying in a random car crash on the drive from the airport.
It鈥檚 the way they respond that frightens me.
A lot of Americans seem to respond with the desire to control guns. This seems sensible. Canada, Australia, and the United Kingdom have all gone through this process in the wake of massacres. Most countries seem to agree that letting anyone have semi-automatic weapons with large magazines is not necessary for sport shooters or hunters.
Another sizable chunk of Americans respond that what everyone needs is more guns.
Guns in high schools, elementary schools, university campuses, churches, movie theatres, shopping malls. The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, they say.
The bravado behind that statement is almost laughable. Usually they don鈥檛 say 鈥淚f I鈥檇 been there with a gun, of course I鈥檇 have stopped him.鈥�
Well, President Trump said it. Because he鈥檚 incapable of not saying every self-aggrandizing thought that passes through his head.
But even when it鈥檚 not said, it鈥檚 implied.
If you dropped me in that kind of high stakes, high intensity situation, I have no earthly idea what I鈥檇 do.
I don鈥檛 think I鈥檇 try to attack the shooter. I don鈥檛 believe I have that in me.
I hope I鈥檇 keep my head and try to get others to safety.
There鈥檚 a distinct possibility that I鈥檇 just run in panicked circles, wet myself, and pass out.
I just don鈥檛 know. I hope I never have to find out.
The sickness in the U.S. discourse about guns is that it isn鈥檛 about guns. It鈥檚 about propping up the self-image of the people who have them.
They have to see themselves as action heroes. Larger than life figures. The good guys in white hats who will ride in and gun down the bad guys.
In some sense, they aren鈥檛 scared of mass shootings, of gangsters, of home invasions.
They鈥檙e hoping for them. A part of them wants that, needs that possibility to validate their good-guy, gun toting self image.
Which is why I don鈥檛 want to go back to the U.S. any time soon.
It鈥檚 not the mass shootings. It鈥檚 the fact that I won鈥檛 know, especially in an open-carry state, which people around me are just itching for an excuse to get into a gunfight.
If I want to play pretend-hero, I鈥檒l get a video game. I don鈥檛 need to turn the world into a shooting gallery to get myself through the day.
