A news item the other day contained one of the most depressing sentences I've seen, at least in the last couple of weeks.
It was about the dating app Bumble. The company's stock was taking a beating because its quarterly report showed the app was losing both users and money at a rapid pace.
But the depressing bit came mid-way down the article, outlining how Bumble was trying to fix it's business model. Part of this solution would come from a new "BFF app" Bumble plans to launch, to help young people find friends.
It says so much about our society that we are suffering through a loneliness epidemic, and the solution we're being sold is an app on our phones.
Back in 2023, the World Health Organization declared loneliness a "global public health concern." In Canada in 2024, 13 per cent of the population said they "often or always" felt lonely, and it was 17 per cent for those aged 15 to 24.
Surveys in North America have shown a declining number of friendships over time.
The most immediate causes are the pandemic lockdowns, and the rise of social media.
But the decline in social interaction goes back decades. The 2000 book 'Bowling Alone' by political scientist Robert Putnam identified a long-term decline in civic participation, starting in the 1960s. Fewer and fewer adults participated in bowling leagues, church groups, fraternal organizations, or school PTAs.
There are multiple causes for all of this, but the one that greased the rails for the slide into loneliness seems to have been technology.
The irony is that it seems to be a bit of a loop. People have always been lonely, and have embraced technology as a solution. When radios became available in the 1920s, they were popular with people who lived alone, because it felt like there were people in their homes. Telephones and chat rooms and Facebook allowed people to stay in touch with distant friends, and even to make new ones.
But the overall effect of technology has been to reduce the number of times we have to interact with other human beings, especially face-to-face.
Every piece of entertainment and communications technology allows us to choose 鈥� do we see it as an opportunity to connect with someone, or a chance for a frictionless experience, avoiding the complications and foibles of other humans altogether?
Too often, we pick the easier choice. We pull back, we interact less, we avoid the uncomfortable reality of others. We don't have to speak to the barista, the waiter, the checkout clerk. We don't have to go to the meeting, the party, to have people over. We can shop online. We can order in. We can click 'like.'
I'm as guilty of this as anyone. I don't see my friends as often as I'd like, and as for making new ones鈥� how do you do that, exactly? Those muscles have atrophied since elementary school.
One thing I'm sure of is that technology is not our way out of this problem. We're going to have to learn when to put it aside, or stay lonely.
