On Nov. 1, Lara McIntyre wants people to eat cake. And talk about death.
鈥淭here鈥檚 a lot of things in society that can get in the way of us living,鈥� she said. 鈥淒eath is one that I thought I鈥檇 tackle.鈥�
Sitting at a table in the George Mackie Library, McIntyre doesn鈥檛 look like someone who鈥檇 be excited to talk about death, with her bright clothes and and sunny demeanour. But for her, it鈥檚 something that鈥檚 important for people to discuss.
鈥淚t seemed like a good idea to have a space for people to have these discussions, that it鈥檚 okay to talk about it,鈥� she continued. 鈥淕et it out in the open, so that life can be more fulfilling.鈥�
That鈥檚 why, between September and January, McIntyre is holding six different Death Caf茅s at various Fraser Valley Regional libraries, open forums for people to discuss death and what it means to them. There鈥檚 no agenda, and no set discussion topics.
In fact, the only guarantee is there will be cake: it鈥檚 mandated at every Death Caf茅, part of the social franchise that started in the United Kingdom.
McIntyre first discovered Death Caf茅s in November 2016, when she was a student in the counselling program at Rhodes Wellness College in Vancouver.
At the time, McIntyre was unsure whether she would be diagnosed with ovarian cancer (she wasn鈥檛) and was still coping the death of her sister nearly five years earlier.
Her sister passed away at age 51 from complications due to multiple sclerosis. She died in hospice, and McIntyre said 鈥渋t was lovely.
鈥淚 mean, it was very sad, but it was beautiful too.鈥�
鈥淚t was really interesting watching other people鈥檚 grief and seeing them experience a different facet of it,鈥� she continued. 鈥淎nd I realized it鈥檚 just not something that, in my culture, is really talked about, unless maybe you鈥檙e at a funeral or something.鈥�
That鈥檚 why she decided to host her own Death Caf茅.
The first one was held at the Ladner Pioneer Library on Sept. 11.
鈥淚t was lovely,鈥� she said, then sighed. 鈥淚t was so inclusive.鈥�
Only a handful of people came, she said, and they ranged in age from 20 to 90 years old. Some were dealing with active grief, while others were preparing to die. The prevailing theme was that the people in the attendees鈥� lives were ready for them to stop talking about death, but they weren鈥檛, McIntyre said.
McIntyre will be hosting five more Death Caf茅s: Oct. 23 at the White Rock Library, Nov. 1 at the George Mackie Library, Nov. 20 at the Ladner Pioneer Library, Dec. 4 at the White Rock Library and Jan. 17 at the George Mackie Library. All start at 6:45 p.m.
鈥淚鈥檓 excited about the one here [in North Delta], I hope we get lots of people,鈥� McIntyre said. 鈥淏ut even if one person shows up, that鈥檚 what it鈥檚 supposed to be.鈥�
grace.kennedy@northdeltareporter.com
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