Last Wednesday morning, a plate of home baked goods was left on Gwen Cuvilier鈥檚 front porch.
Her daughter, Laureen, scooped it up as she got the kids off to elementary school, planned to get her mom to a bone scan, home in time for an interview, and then the cat to the vet later in the day. She tucked the treats in the kitchen of the family鈥檚 cozy Chilliwack home; thankful they could all enjoy them later in the day. Outside it was cold and snowing, and inside their home it was still Christmas. The tree still decorated, and bright and shiny cards lining the brick wall above the fireplace.
They were all waiting for Laureen鈥檚 brother Jeff and his family to arrive from Taiwan for a visit, so everyone could be together again. Culivier has been diagnosed with cancer, is being treated as a palliative patient, and every day is urgent. The family has been through tough times before, Laureen and Gwen explain. In 2013, Gwen鈥檚 husband Rick passed away and Laureen and her kids and husband made the move back home from England.
But this is a family that happily pulls together and works hard, helps others, sees the shining silver lining in everything.
鈥淵ou do something to the best of your ability and you just don鈥檛 quit,鈥� Gwen says, sitting in her arm chair with a throw around her shoulders. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 how I was raised.鈥�
So, she was a bit surprised when meals started arriving at their doorstep, shortly after she was diagnosed in late November. It started with their friend Cathy dropping off a soup. With the whirlwind of trips to the hospital, doctors鈥� offices, worrying, taking care of the young children, and running the household, it soon became obvious they just weren鈥檛 eating right as a family.
Those casual and welcome donations of meals soon morphed into something more sophisticated 鈥� . Friends, family, even strangers, can sign up to cook for the family on chosen days. Cathy organized the Meal Train, having benefited from it when she had her own family loss to deal with in the past. Because the Cuviliers have friends around the world, they鈥檝e even had pizza ordered for them from people overseas, paid by credit card.
Teammates from Laureen鈥檚 husband鈥檚 dart team have pitched in, and people from their church have helped. Parents from the kids鈥� school have cooked for them, and, like this day, sometimes treats just show up on the front step.
鈥淚t鈥檚 all very humbling,鈥� says Laureen, 鈥渂ut my parents were second parents to a lot of my friends growing up.鈥�
鈥淚t does come back to you,鈥� adds Gwen. She says the Meal Train is much like it used to be, with 鈥渘eighbours helping neighbours. That鈥檚 just what you did.鈥�
The meals are now coming to them three times a week, up from the original two times a week. One neighbour has even offered up her housekeeper time to them, to give them a break.
This is not a family that ever imagined needing a break, so it鈥檚 all happened very quickly. On Nov. 21, Laureen heard her mom having difficulties in the bathroom, like she鈥檇 fallen over.
鈥淚 had gotten up to use the bathroom and found myself on the floor,鈥� Gwen says. 鈥淚 said, 鈥業 think you should come in here.鈥欌��
There hadn鈥檛 been any outward signs of trouble prior to that, they say. But after x-rays and a carousel of trips in and out of emergency, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. She had collapsed due to low blood pressure, a result of a tumour on her right lung that had extended up to her left atrium. She has what鈥檚 known as a mobile tumour, and cannot have surgery. It means she could have a 鈥榮udden event鈥� at any time.
If that sounds morbid, it鈥檚 because it is. They admit it. But the mother and daughter laugh about it, because what else can they do?
鈥淲hat is this sudden event and how will I know when I鈥檓 having it?鈥� Gwen says, laughing.
It was the same when Gwen had breast cancer in 2005, she says. Back then, she wasn鈥檛 shocked or scared of cancer, she was mad. Mad that it was taking time away from all the things she would rather be doing. At the time, she was working for Elections Canada as the assistant returning officer, and stayed on the job throughout treatment, attempting to keep her health situation to herself.
鈥淚 called it bad names,鈥� she says. 鈥淢ade jokes about it. But you can鈥檛 be scared of it.鈥�
And she isn鈥檛 one to mope around and feel bad for her situation.
鈥淟et鈥檚 not just sit around,鈥� she says.
And she鈥檚 not sitting around, not really. The family is not content to call this the end, and are eagerly awaiting news that Gwen can receive immunotherapy in Abbostford.
It鈥檚 a cutting edge, biological treatment, designed specifically for your immune system, Gwen says. Since she鈥檚 too ill for radiation, and surgery isn鈥檛 an option, this is a perfect treatment option.
In the meantime, they are filling their days with the little things. Hanging out with the kids. Making the holiday moments last. And enjoying the kindness of their friends and neighbours, who are filling their freezer, fridge and cupboards with love. And enchiladas, and shepherd鈥檚 pie, and cookies.
