I loaded up my 25-year-old dining room set and hauled it off to a local thrift store the other day. I had advertised it and had a couple of inquiries. One couple stopped by to take a look.
As I say, it has been in my house for years, but it never looked better than it did when I was trying to get rid of it. It was devoid of mail and newspapers, it had been polished and touched up and the chair legs had been tightened so they no longer wobbled. It looked almost good enough to keep.
The couple that came by were Filipino, they told me. As they perused the table and chairs they nodded and spoke in their own language. When the lady looked at the hutch, I discovered that the phrase 鈥榦ld fashioned鈥� sounds the same in English as it does in Filipino. Her husband suggested he might still be interested if I would deliver it to Surrey. No deal.
Now you may ask why I was getting rid of my dining room suite. Apparently, according to people who don鈥檛 even live here, my furniture, my carpets and my wall colours are all outdated. I find that so strange, because I think everything is just fine. It鈥檚 all perception.
For most men, if they have a comfortable chair and a great view of the TV, we are happy. Any small move or suggested relocation of either one is considered to be 鈥渞edecorating鈥� by the man of the house.
We鈥檝e seen Martin Crane鈥檚 old yellow and green recliner in the TV show Frasier. Patched with duct tape, it was a stark contrast to the chrome and leather furniture his son preferred. Archie Bunker鈥檚 chair was the centre of the living room, and in almost every episode Archie was ordering Meathead to get out of his chair.
Both those chairs are now in museums, clearly indicating that we have to address the historical value of furniture before we update anything. Who knows, I may have just given away a bit of Canadiana without taking time to research its pedigree. Some people, however, would call that procrastinating.
As I look around my living room, there are numerous picture of fires and fire halls, tastefully framed and matted, shelves full of Stephen King novels and models of fire trucks or fire chief鈥檚 cars. I don鈥檛 know how you can update such classic design features such as these. But they all have to come down and be put away while the painting is done and the carpet is replaced. That鈥檚 a lot of work.
鈥淢aybe you can do some of that while you鈥檙e watching the Super Bowl,鈥� comes a bold suggestion. 鈥淲hat?鈥� I calmly reply. That would clearly be classed as multi-tasking and everyone knows men don鈥檛 do that well. There are too many variables that could have led to missing the play of the game.
Sometimes when they don鈥檛 think I鈥檓 listening, I hear whispers about kitchen cabinets and bathroom tub surrounds. I know this is far from over.
Other days I am presented with paint colour chips, and carpet samples. 鈥淲on鈥檛 this look great?鈥� As if I鈥檓 supposed to imagine an entire room from looking at a tiny square of carpet.
But I鈥檝e learned to just roll with it. A man鈥檚 home is his castle, but only until the queen comes home. At least that鈥檚 what McGregor says.
