Our monkey is missing its brains.
Actually, it鈥檚 not really our monkey, it鈥檚 Sam鈥檚.
And it never really had a brain. It鈥檚 a dog-toy filled with stuffing... or at least, mostly filled with stuffing, as it鈥檚 head is empty now.
You might not think it unusual for a dog toy to be missing some stuffing, especially if you have a dog.
But Sam鈥檚 not a dog, he鈥檚 a poodle.
He doesn鈥檛 think himself better than other dogs. He likes making friends with other dogs, in fact. It鈥檚 just that he鈥檚 a poodle, not a dog.
Now, we鈥檝e never disabused him of the notion that he鈥檚 a dog.
But you see, if you鈥檙e walking your dog and you run into another dog person, you鈥檙e likely to start your conversation with identifying the make and model of your best friend.
But Sam is so obviously a poodle, except for his less common colouring and uncut tail, that most people who know dogs might wonder if maybe he鈥檚 a labra-doodle 鈥� a cross between a poodle and a Labrador retriever.
鈥淣o, he鈥檚 a poodle,鈥� we鈥檒l reply, and the conversation continues while Sam immediately strikes his show stance (natural, we never taught him or put him in show) because he knows we鈥檙e talking about him and he likes to make a good impression.
Sometimes, a passerby will say something to us like, 鈥淭hat鈥檚 a nice dog.鈥�
And Sam鈥檚 head will pop up and he鈥檒l look around for the dog they must be talking about.
He never gets that they鈥檙e talking about him.
Because he鈥檚 not a dog, he鈥檚 a poodle.
It鈥檚 certainly not Sam鈥檚 sole endearing trait.
Another is that he doesn鈥檛 molest his toys.
At least, he rarely damages them.
He has a stuffed bear that he has had nearly nine years, since he was a puppy. Donna has added a stitch here or there, but that鈥檚 mostly our fault, from playing 鈥渄uck and bear鈥� with him, which involves a duck with a plastic pop bottle inside it, which he has also had for a lot of years.
So it was quite a surprise to find that he had 鈥� neatly 鈥� removed the stuffing from his monkey鈥檚 head.
Trouble is, we don鈥檛 know what to do with the brainless monkey. It was made in America, so we鈥檙e afraid it might try to run off back home now and vote for Trump.
